Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

Archive for the tag “Reward”

The Long-Awaited…

Is finally here!

…. And it hurt!

…. And it still hurts!

…. But It. Is. SO. COOL!!!

I love it.

IMG_3940.jpg

That tattoo artist is amazing. Cool. Good at swearing. Great story-teller. And a friend of friends. Can’t wait to go back to her next year for my second star… *smile*

For those who ask, first, it was a pretty tender place to get tattooed in the first place. But? I couldn’t think of anywhere more I wanted it. So, glad I went through with it. The feeling was like when you scrape your knee, but in slow-motion, and on purpose, and for a looooong period of time. Well, 30 minutes. But still. Slow-motion pain.

But now? I feel like a bad-ass. I also feel like if I do become a regular inker (skeptical), then anywhere else I decide to put a tattoo would be a breeze. Did I mention how tough I am? *smile* Ha, yeah, right.

Day 390, Heya, Universe. Thank you.*

Wakka Wakka Wakka.

While this post is begging me to write ‘The joke’s on me,’ I just can’t. Life is good. Life is full. Life is busy. Productive. Creative. Playful. Sunny.

And I am here having opened a show this past week, which I was pretty sure would be the first un-funny production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in the history of the world, but then? Boom. Saturday hit, we hit our stride, and we were hilarious! *angelssing* Thank all that is holy. And now? It’s probably one of my favorite shows (comedies) I’ve directed. Especially because it’s outdoors and just FUN. Love that. …. And of course, the process was fun, and actually the week of opening, we weren’t too stressed out, but yes. I was worried about the funny-factor. Problem solved. Phew!

Following the opening, I dove into my second show this past week, and now have a bit of a hiatus for the days surrounding the 4th. *sigho’relief*

The hubs and I have had some really great evenings out together. Cast party, show, Finding Dory with the babes. And now tonight, we are headed to our first date ever to a comedy club. One of my very dear friends is opening for the headliner, so we are going to support him, and also just to check it out. I’m excited. We are even having dinner out beforehand. Look at us! We’re grown-ups!

Also in the works…. I had a tattoo consult the other week, and now I am set to go in on Sunday the 3rd for the real-deal. I’m nervous, second-guessing, and excited. I’m a nut. The date is significant to me, too, as it is a date I always remember for hurting someone I loved very much…. You guessed it, while under the influence. Yes, some of it was youth. Yes, some of it was naïveté. Yes, some of it was selfishness. But I always remember the date. Even 15 years later. I feel like there is something to the world’s design that my tattoo date is the same as the date I so frequently associate with shame and regret. Perhaps to help balance out the scale?

Day 387, *insertpunchlinehere* … Ba-dump-bum!

Fozzie-bear.jpg….

 

3… 2… 1…

“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
     -Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

The-Princess-and-the-dragon1

Here I sit in the midst of my countdowns (plural)…. The school year has ended. Grades have been reported. Grad parties have been attended. My own goodbye party has happened, where it seemed an infinite number of hugs and ‘See you soon’s and ‘Keep in touch’es were said by all. In the job world, I have one sliver of a string keeping me tethered to the Old, while a second silver string is dangling in the near future – complete with transition meeting set next week, and then off to the races with planning, learning, deciding, more planning, scrapping, then planning s’more… *smile*

It’s been good. Gooder than I thought it would be. (Please know that grammatical error was a conscious choice.) The major hurdle had been this past Thursday with the end of the year luncheon, and once that was over, everything else kind of followed in a logical sequence.

So, now I here I am contemplating my big 1 year-aversary set for Thursday, 9 June, 2016. I am actually getting kind of excited for it. Today, in silly Monster-fashion, I contemplated the idea of ‘One. Year.’ and what all that meant. I mean, of course I know it’s a year, but for some reason, today I felt like I could suddenly look back and see and understand what that huge concept represented – all of its ins and outs. Daunting in its magnitude. And proud-making in its scope. And shiver-shaking in its many, many effects.

As each day goes by this week, I am trying to raise my courage levels so that I am ready for my big dive into skin art. I am determined to get a tattoo (moon & a star) on my left wrist, but now that I have discovered the beautiful Rilke quote above, I am getting all cocky and thinking…. ‘Aw, I could totally do a moon and a star AND a Dragon.’ …. Someone talk me off my ledge. *smile*

Day 363, I will keep you posted, cool cats & kitties…..

moon_dragon_by_alviaalcedo-d8x6m8j

Si, Si, Senora!

It’s been a good week.

A stress-filled week.

But a good week.

I got rolling pretty quickly downhill on Monday into a stressball, as we say in our house. So? After a day of running around, teaching, organizing, designing a brochure, prepping the set design for the next show, as well as prepping for auditions, I was Done.

And do you know? A cool thing happened….

I did not have the urge to drink. (Wa-hoo!)

Nope.

I had the urge to scream and cry a little,

I ran - like the wind!

so instead of actually doing either of those things….

I ran.

Like the wind.

Seriously. I ran So fast on Monday. Usually I hover around 6 mph doing intervals, and Monday, I cranked up the treadmill to 6.5 mph for almost all of the intervals, and then even hit 7 mph for the last one. Man, did it feel good! And such a healthier way to deal with stress than drinking it away.

Then, the rest of the week went by in a bit of a blur. Classes, auditions, show stuff, cramming in time to run 4 out of 5 days…. But it was good. By Friday, I was ready for the weekend! The cast and crew lists were posted, and it was time to par-tay! And by ‘par-tay,’ I mean go home to the babes, drink a bunch of glasses of iced tea, enjoy dinner with my fam, and then read sober blogs and Mindy Kaling’s first book before I fell asleep. Party on, Wayne.

It’s been a good weekend.

Yesterday, I had time with my girlfriends for our brunch & book club. We sooooort of screen-shot-2013-02-01-at-1-46-09-pmdiscussed Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane, which as my girlfriend says, “Breaks your heart twice in the first chapter.” SO incredible and well-written. I’m a huge Gaiman fan – HUGE – and have personally decided this is the book he has been trying to write for his whole writing career. It is beautiful and poetic and core-shakingly brilliant. Truly stunning. … And the time we spent discussing it? Oh, about 10 minutes. *smile* The rest of the time was spent on some much-needed catching up. Wonderful!

Then, last night, the hubs and I were Clark-Gable-Peter-Warne-It-Happened-One-Night able to enjoy a bit of a date-night as our babes fell asleep pretty quickly. I was in the mood for a romantic comedy (because Mindy Kaling mentions the genre more than once in her book that I had been reading – Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns). As I was picking through our collection, it was (re)discovered that the hubs had never seen the classic, hilarious, and wonderful movie It Happened One Night, starring Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable, directed by Frank Capra, and written by Robert Riskin. Oh, my goodness! I forgot how much I love this movie! So funny, and so sweet. I mean, look at this still from the movie – that look! Doesn’t it make you melt? And the love-ily thing is that Colbert has more than one moment of that sweet look as well. Gah. Love it.

So now, today, in about thirty minutes, imgresthe hubs and I are headed to another date out. Wow! We are so full of awesomeness and together-time this weekend! … And I can’t wait because we are seeing The Martian. I am not usually one to have the quick instinct that “I have to see that!” But with this one? The first time I saw the movie trailer, that was the thought I had. I’m so excited, and am perhaps looking forward equally towards the movie itself, as well as the popcorn and/or candy that will accompany said movie. Hee. Yum and Yay!

Okay, and? Now for the last good thing on my current list (there are so many today – so cool)… I was kind of losing track of my sober days, what with all that has been going on at work, and then on Thursday, I realized I was pretty close to 150/5 months. I checked in on line for a minute, and tuh-dah! Sober Day 150 was on Friday. Huge achievement! And my official 5-month happens tomorrow. So great! Now I am just 30 days away from my 180-day challenge finish, as well as edging up on that Winter Solstice/Solstice-to-Solstice Challenge. As I like to say, Woot-to-the-Oot, People!

So, here I was basking in the goodness of sobriety and achievement and not really feeling the worse for wear (as opposed to the time around the 100-marker), and was thinking I might splurge on a little Aveda perfume, because it’s waaaaaaaay cheaper than the perfumes I am in love with. Giorgio-Armani-SiI mentioned it to the hubs yesterday, and do you know? That man came home in the afternoon with a 5- and 6-month combo celebratory present for me. Gah. So sweet. And so deliciously amazing! As you can see here, it was a hunormous bottle of Armani’s Si perfume, plus a little gift set for buying the biggest bottle (Score!). So now, I am about to get ready for the date mentioned above, and then wear my new, yummy, wonderful perfume. Plus? Cate Blanchett is the spokesperson! I didn’t even know that until I looked up images this morning, and now I am more in love with my perfume than ever. Way to go manipulative advertising machine. You got me!

And with that? I must run. Time to get ready for my date! Ooooooh! We might even kiss! Gross.

Okay, love you. G’bye!

Day 152, Oh, look at that – the Pink Cloud has returned with a sky FULL of identical friends.

 

Premature Celebration.

No one panic. This post will not dive down into the ‘blue.’ Swearsies.

I am still on vacation, and I am still a bit frazzled and craving release. This am I actually started to cry because my children were crazy beast-animals. I had a few hours of respite while we visited a family friend and they played outside for two hours, however the tension and anxiety in my shoulders hasn’t really left me at all.

So? I did a not-awesome-(but-secretly-I’m-excited-and-think-it’s-awesome)-thing.

The ‘thing’ is a $300 purchase of a Tiffany necklace I have coveted and eyed for yeeeeears. I am so happy, but feeling so guilty. So? Similar to my early 30-day splurge, I am calling this my early 100-day splurge. Guilt (mostly) resolved. *smile*

Here’s a pic:

Ooh-la-la!

Ooh-la-la!

I have to go on record and say I am very, Very good at figuring out rewards. … If any of you need help brainstorming, then just give a holler. hee. I’m happy to help!

Alright, off I go. This post is less than a tenth of yesterday’s post in grateful thanks for your awesomeness and beautiful support yesterday. I am so lucky to have so many cool people in my life via this rad thing called the interwubs.

Day 63, and happily committed to the 100-day challenge (as well as Sobriety-for-Life) Now more than ever. Ha!

p.s. Still feeling itchy on vacation. I won’t lie. The necklace helps, but still have the itch. Going to try some exercise and see if that helps. (It usually does, doesn’t it?)

 

Tat-Tatta-Tat-Tat-Tattoo.

I’ve been thinking about it quite a lot these past couple of weeks… I’m laughing at myself a bit because I’m so anxious to get to my 1 year, but well, I’m a ways away still. Hee. At any rate, I just came up with an idea for my 1 year celebration – a tattoo!

I have never inked my bod before, but I really like the idea of marking my sobriety. I like the idea of tattoos in general, but have a hard time committing to an image for my Life. However, I believe sobriety is important enough to carry with me Forever. (Sidenote: My brother-in-law is a continual inker, and I love what he says about tattoos – that the individual tattoo isn’t supposed to ‘last’ through life, but rather is marking a moment in life. Isn’t that beautiful?)

So, yes.

My idea for my 1 Year is a moon on my wrist, followed each new year by a new star….

Moon-over-ocean1I love the moon. I love the moon’s different manifestations, shapes, and ways of being. I love the other-worldliness of its glow. And I love the stars’ beauty, their timelessness, and the magic of thousands of stories and histories told about them. I also love what I mentioned before in another post, that we are all made of star stuff. I love the interconnectedness, the hope, and the awe-inspiring powers outside of ourselves.

Hurry up, Year. *smile* I want you to get here now!

Day 57, and yet methinks I have Astronomy….

Walt Whitman’s “When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer”

WHEN I heard the learn’d astronomer;
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;
When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

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