Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

A Year in the Life.

Well, today is the day.

1 Year Sober.

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And?

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I was inexplicably sad and tired all of the time. I felt constantly stressed, angry, and frustrated with my Life in general, and I was resentful and irritated with those people I love most in the world. I wanted so much to be the person I remembered being in my younger days, but I couldn’t find my way back to Her. I turned in on myself and away from the world. I tried every night to ‘treat’ myself and take some Me-Time in the guise of a wine glass. I thought it was adults did. Instead of filling me with positives and benefits, the wine took things away…. Most of all my sense of self, and replaced it with shame and pain.

Today? I am not the person I was. Even in the midst of all that has transpired this year (this spring in particular), I am Joyful. I am Happy. I am sure of myself, who I am, what I want, what I believe. My relationships with others are deeper, more sincere, more honest, more present, and more consistent. Resentment has gone the way of the dodo. Shame left me soon after I stopped drinking because I had nothing to feel ashamed about. My work/my creativity is stronger. I am rested. I am kinder and gentler – most of all with myself. I truly feel like I have recaptured Who I Was into the Me Who Is Now.

Sobriety is the best gift I have ever given myself, because it has given me my Life back.

To those people I love here in the blogosphere, my family, my friends, and the hubs, THANK YOU for all the love and support. I would not be here without having you with me on every step of this fascinating journey.

Year 1, Here I Am.

p.s. To those considering sobriety, perhaps just try it and see. What’s the harm? If, like me, you’ve tried counting drinks, setting limits, setting rules, jumping through the hoops of justifying the morning-after drink, or the drink at 5 o’clock-even-though-yesterday-was-an-alcoholic-blur, or if you’ve covertly picked up another bottle because it was on your way, or next to the grocery store anyway, or if you’re planning get-togethers with friends because it gives you the opportunity to drink in a group, an alibi, but then later by yourself, or if you’ve drunk by yourself and secretly filled your glass, or watched the bottle level go lower and lower and you’re not getting enough while everyone else seems to, or if you’ve hidden bottles away from your people and then gotten rid of the empty bottles when no one’s looking….. If you’ve done any or all of that, what would be the harm in just trying sobriety for a day or a week, just to see how it goes? What I discovered was that Sobriety is a whole lot less work than drinking ever was. It was actually easier…. on my life, on my health, on my well-being, on my peace-of-mind. Reach out to us here, if you want someone to listen to your story, or if you have questions. There are so many of us here who have been where you are. And, to be sure, I do not have all the answers, nor is my journey done. I still choose sobriety every day, and sometimes that choice is a lot harder than others, but? To me, it is always worth it and proves itself to be day in and day out. Love, -HM.

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57 thoughts on “A Year in the Life.

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  1. Lovely inspirational piece. I am at the very beginning, day 2, it is calming to read that people actually do give up and it can be done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. a VERY belated congratulations on your wonderful year. (WP de-followed you on my behalf so have just remedied that!)

    looking forward to seeing what you do next. hint: it’s going to be AWESOME. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you, Prim!

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  4. Wow! 1 year…now thats quite a feat! Congratulations! I appreciate so much your comment about, going out with others and then drinking alone at home..oh, my thats me! Had to make sure I had my stash to continue the solo drinking, while others went to bed and felt decent the next day…not me though. I had to stay up late till the wine or beer were all gone and then stumble to bed or the couch. This, in my brain, was how I was happy? This was “my treat”… I was sober for 17 days in august then blew it, for one night. Dang, I was so fast back with the insatiable “life sucking” monster ! Now, sober 1 week again. Tiptoeing around this emerging self and becoming more and more aware of my need for friends in sobriety. Thanks for reading.

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  5. The ‘my treat’ was like a cursed phrase for me. Man, was it a trap. So happy to hear from you and to know your journey. Stay connected! 17 days on is amazing. And another 7 days? That’s 24, my friend! Wonderful.* So glad you’re here, Beth. You are definitely not alone. -HM.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Does one tend to feel more tired when they stop drinking? Im energetic on the move at work all day, but when I come home, Im like a rag doll. No energy left. Fall asleep sitting up on the couch.. or maybe…Im just tired. But even over the weekend, no alcohol, but felt tired.
    Achieved goal today, no alcohol. Day 8!

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  7. I am sorry this is such a belated response. Your comment got lost amidst my other ones. Thank you so much for popping in and saying ‘hello.’ How are you? Is there anything I can do to help? Day 2 is awesome. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. -HM.

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