Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

MEMEntos from an Earlier Life.

Alright. So I was online prepping for a different post completely, when a wine meme popped into the search results. It caught my attention, and so I looked up ‘wine memes’ and within five minutes, I think I had pulled at least 20 different ones. As I went further and further into the search results, my stomach just turned. Ugh. Yuck. So many of these would have made me laugh aloud in my drinking days (only 6 months ago), and they would also make me feel okay about how much I was drinking on a daily basis (i.e. a LOT), as well as make me feel justified for drinking as much as I was because Hell, everyone was doing it! Jump on the drunken bandwagon, Monster! (So I did. (Over and over and over again.))

Now, here is a heads-up if you would like to cut out of here and go read another blog, I totally understand. The following material may induce flashbacks to ‘The Good Ol’ Days of Regular Public Embarrassment,’ or make you wax nostalgic about those sweet days of yore rife with alcoholic hook-ups and drunken stupors.

Looking at these memes in a collection really unnerved me. Some of them are actually quite offensive, and others of them just make me sad, because even though they’re meant to be funny-ha-ha-jokes, they really ring with a bitter tone of Truth.

Personally, until I got sober, I had never noticed how pervasive the message of ‘You should drink‘ was found in every facet of my life! In my early drinking life (read: 20s), my primary Achilles’ heels were movies or TV shows portraying people ‘just like me’ who always sought out the coolest, trendiest cocktail bars, or dive bars for the ironic factor, or tried the new craft beer or whiskey because they were Just. That. Cool. My imagination and perceived perception of reality (read: idiotic) in my early 20s came partially because I was one of the younger people on staff, and I truly believed my older, more mature, and wise coworkers socialized like those people in the movies who I aspired to be like, so again, I multiplied my efforts and tried to be just like all of them.

Imagination and projection are problems for me (They are also my bread&butter for the record, but in this reminiscence, they’re a problem.). In my early 30s, motherhood found me, or I found it rather. The above memes were probably first seen on my Facebook feed about that same time, a thing I would check obsessively multiple times a day. And every damned time, I would believe everything I saw. I believed the memes because they were tongue-in-cheek funny. I believe the people posting them were laughing at themselves and how much they drank, but they were so cool and hip and awesome (I am sensing a recurring theme here), they could be self-deprecating and drunk at the same time – and be totally okay with it! For the most part, these memes appeared on girlfriends’ walls and status updates. Women, who I already thought were pretty cool and awesome in and of themselves, would post these types of memes pretty regularly.  Combine the trendy memes along with the everyday posts of these young mothers kicking ass and being awesome (because who takes pictures and posts them when things are normal, boring, or fucking awful?), and I was buying it all hook, line, and sinker. Oftentimes these super-hero-perfect-hair-moms (or so I believed) would post cute, trendy photos of themselves out and about, or in with cozy yoga pants on, with girlfriends clinking glasses, or sharing a bottle of wine, and seriously. I thought every mother in the United States was coping with the suckage of motherhood by drinking herself into a buzz, if not further down the drunken spectrum Every Night.

Now that I am somewhat removed from the constant circles of drinking (social, as well as my own much more regular lonely circle of 1), I have felt a true release and relief from the pressure to ‘Drink! Drink! Drink!’ And all of those outside images and perceived lives I hoped to achieve and emulate? With the filter of drinking lifted, I see a lot more Reality. Even in my 20s (and 30s, if I’m honest), I think my addiction was trying to hide itself inside the whisper of ‘Be like everyone else.’ Without the constant need to drink, and/or the constant obsession to hide how much I was drinking by looking more like the Perfect version of Life, I am now more okay with being myself. And my FB friends, they are still my friends, but I (finally) get that what I am seeing are filtered realities. Of course they are. It just took me 10 years to consciously make myself aware of this fact any time I check in on the ol’ FB. (Sidenote: I’ve been away from FB for 5 weeks just because, and so far? So good.) Without my addiction making me feel like I have to look around at the world and feel like I don’t measure up, or that I have a dirty secret (which I did), I am now able to see more of the reality all around me. And all because I get to look around now. Before I was too taken up with worry because someone was going to find me out. But now? Now I have nothing to hide. I get to sit back and really see what’s going on.
goldfish-one-different-900x600Day 200, Whoa! Fun surprise! (I just looked it up on a sober counter and really had no idea.) ….. I was going to write: Not drinking the kool-aid anymore… Phew! ….. Edit: I already wrote that on an earlier post. I am so passe…

p.s. And compleeeeetely off-topic…. I loved the new Star Wars movie! Finally saw it over Christmas and laughed with pure delight soso many times.

 

 

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17 thoughts on “MEMEntos from an Earlier Life.

  1. indeed they are chilling, as a collection. shudder. that type of image used to push my buttons in a BIG way. I wanted to take the FB poster firmly by the throat and shout “THIS ISN’T FUNNY! CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?”

    now I mostly just think, sadly, “Oh, THAT’S what stage you’re at. okay.” because wanting to normalise excessive consumption is definitely a stage. and dependence is the worm i’ the bud of the so-called humour.

    whoop for 200 days! comes bizarrely quickly after 180, doesn’t it! xx

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Totally agree that normalizing excessive consumption is a stage. I cringe at how many jokes I’ve made in the past about my drinking habits. May have even posted a meme or two myself… 🙂 And I’m most certainly noticing how many of my FB friends post about alcohol and what they are currently drinking now that I’m not. It always makes me wonder.

    200 days is amazing! 6 months is amazing! And I loved the new Star Wars movie too! (it really was better than I expected — and funny…)

    Rachel.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah, I’ve been wondering about these pics on Facebook too. And indeed they turn my stomach around realising that I was one who sort of believed all of it but in the back of my mind knew I was way over the edge.
    Congrats on the day 200! You are doing so great! 🙂
    Going to see Star Wars this wednesday, looking forward to it.
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Robert Crisp on said:

    I’ll admit, some of those images are still funny, but in a dark way…and in a way that makes me feel empathy (whether it’s deserved or not) for people posting them. I see them on my FB, too, from one woman in particular who professes her love of wine so much that I had to stop following her. She’s newly married, no kids, runs marathons and exercises like mad, and perhaps she thinks that gives her the green light to drink. Or maybe not. Or maybe she just likes it. I’m not going to take her inventory, as it were, so its just better for us not to interact on social media.

    200 days, lady…that’s fucking AWESOME (I scream as I wear my Metallica t-shirt, a gift from my sister-in-law). Rock on, sober sister!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I thought they were actually funny and I had a bit of chuckle. They’re supposed to be ironic I guess. Haha! But I think excessive drinking has become very normalized.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I had the sophisticated wine ritual. Yep, pure delusion.

    Happy 200, Monster!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Way to go on 200 Days!
    Hope you are enjoying your hard earned rest!
    I see some of these on FB too.
    They don’t bother me, but I do know some of the people posting drink too much!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, I see that, too, Prim. It does make me wonder. For some, I know, yes, they are funny. But for others? I do wonder (and worry). … Thank you for the whoop! It is so cool that another achievement/milestone comes so quickly. Makes these bigger numbers less cumbersome and bulky. Yay. *smile* -HM.

    Like

  9. Wonder – yes! Me, too. Absolutely. … And yay. Thank you for wootiness.* …. And SW – yes (again). I thought it was so fun/funny. I would even see it again in the theatre. Such a great salute to what was. Loved it.

    Like

  10. They really turned my stomach looking at them now because some of them are really Real, do you know what I mean? For example, the cooking one – 5 glasses in one night was such a regular occurrence for me. And while I probably wouldn’t have all that while I was cooking, it still happened. Almost every night. And in the meme it’s funny. It’s a rare occurrence (maybe). But in reality? Not so rare. Not so funny. Ugh. just makes my skin crawl thinking about those days. …. And thank you! It’s been going pretty well this past month or so. … Have fun at the movie! I loved every minute of it. -HM.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh, absolutely they are funny. But like I was saying to Feeling, some of them are just a little too honest. For me and how I used to drink. … I wonder about your friend a bit, too. And worry some, too, as I said to Prim. …. As for 200, fuck yeah, brotha’. Thank you and all of your Metallica bad-assery.* Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Agreed about the irony. As a problem drinker my whole adult life, I was always looking to gauge where I was on the spectrum. With all the messages out there telling us to drink it up, I wonder how many adults actually know what is healthy versus what is not. Too, I wonder how many normies are out there and maybe step onto a slippery slope just based on friends’ habits or advertisements or memes or whatnot, you know? That normalization of excessive drinking you mention – that subliminal ‘fun’ factor is taking marketing by storm in the past decade.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Yep! Me, too. Makes me think of a taunt from grade school…. ‘You think you’re hot snot on a silver platter, but you’re really cold boogers on a paper plate!’

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Thank you, Wendy!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I dug my hole a little deeper, 5 pints of beer was even below average unfortunately. Can’t even imagine it now. 😦

    Like

  16. Yes!! Totally. It’s kind of weird, getting sober is like exiting the Matrix and seeing the world as it REALLY IS.
    Hahaha! The “fun” factor, indeed!!
    I think people know it’s not healthy, we’ve all had a chuckle about what a serving of wine is (5oz, yah right!!) but this mass hypnosis keeps people from clearly seeing the potential for damage (and addiction!!).

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I just had the laaaaaaaaaaziest day today, Wendy. It was SO wonderful. Hee.

    Like

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