Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

A Sober Supper.

Well? The sober supper went well last night. We got to the church (where the AA group is hosted) relatively early.

My main trouble was in the first ten minutes we were sitting at a table, one of the few people there came up to me and ‘Godded’ me. Ugh. First, the assumption that I don’t have a belief system in place. Second, the God-push really drives me nuts and has turned me off from other rooms in the past several months. I appreciate the guy’s interest in helping me, absolutely. But in the first ten minutes? How about you wait for the dessert and bad coffee? Or, I know, learn my name and a little bit about me? I see the guy’s devotion and eagerness for the program, so again, I appreciate that. But Whoa, Dude. Dial it back a notch.

Once the Goddy-ness subsided, the kids were happy and munched on a bunch of food. We had a pretty nice first hour as a family enjoying dinner – first the kids and then the hubs and myself. I organized us to eat in shifts thinking some adults would join us and visit, but no one did, so the hubs and I had our dinner together while the kids played under the table and ate Oreos.

The spread was nice (lasagna). The people were friendly, even if they didn’t sit with us.

Oh, yum.

Oh, yum.

As the dinner hour went on, the hubs and I kept waiting for the sitter to get into the kids’ room so that we could socialize, but she wasn’t there and she wasn’t there. We were under the impression she was going to watch the whole time, but I guess it makes sense (in retrospect) that she was there primarily for the speak-portion of the night. So, yep. Got the kids in the kids’ room finally, and then the speaker kicked in. He seemed pretty strong. He was very conscientious of leaving us with a practical message, which? We missed. About twenty-five minutes into the talk, I heard my boyo howling down the hallway, so I ran out and got him, and then brought him back in to listen to the speaker. He was okay for about ten more minutes, so then the hubs went out into the lobby area with the two babes (the girlio had left the sitter by that time, too), and I stayed to listen. But? I just felt guilty making him wait. So? After a couple more minutes, I decided it was just time to go. Grabbed our coats and walked out to them. As I left, the speaker said, “Scared another one away.”

And I really wanted to punch his fucking lights out.

Ska-Pow!

Ska-Pow!

The reason why I clicked into his talk was because he led with the observation of all the kids in the room, and how great they were there, and how great it was that we were there for Them, as well as for Ourselves. What a gift it was to our kids that we were in those walls, attending those meetings, doing the work. And then for him to make some snide comment (the ‘tude was there in his voice), after he could see how hard the hubs and I were trying to stay invested and listening throughout, even with the disruptions…. Fuck me. I guess I’m angry. And resentful? There’s some Big Book stuff on that. I just thought it was hypocritical. Blah.

At any rate, I did have a good time the majority of the evening. The two bros I had identified last week as being the most intimidating, were actually the two people who ended up chatting with the hubs and I, which was a really nice surprise. They make me want to go back today and visit the regular meeting. (The speaker from last night is not a regular member of the Sunday meeting, I don’t think, p.s.) So those two connections were nice surprises.

Alright. The anger is gone. Hope you’re all well.

Day 138, First Sober-Sponsored Event? Check.

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10 thoughts on “A Sober Supper.

  1. Joining a new group of any kind is intimidating at first. I think people hold back really getting to know you for a bit until they see that you’re coming back regularly, they probably see people come and go. The evangelizing is annoying and vexing, but some people deal with their problems by trying to force their own personal happiness on others, so you’ll get that. Unfortunately, you can’t close the door on them like the JW’s:) Anyhoo, very brave of you to show up!

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  2. Millie on said:

    Kudos to you and hubbs (and kids), it’s not easy to force yourself out of your comfort zone into uncharted territory. Insensitive of the speaker to call you out publicly like that but hey ho, not your issue, it’s his. You’ll find once you push through the barriers, you’ll have a different experience with people.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Untipsyteacher on said:

    I go out to eat in Uptown a little too much!
    I love your new hair!
    Very cool of you to try a speaker meeting with hubs and kids!
    I still haven’t been to a speaker meeting with my hubs yet, but he is willing to go.
    I went to one with a friend and it was really good.
    I find in any meeting, people speak strongly about what works for them.
    xo
    Wendy

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  4. Robert Crisp on said:

    Nooooooooo! “Scared another one away” my ass! What kind of shit is that?! Forgive my sailor mouth, but that pisses me off. Not just for you but for anyone in that group who may have had to leave (or go to the bathroom or whatever). I know the speaker’s just another person in sobriety, but holy Moses, a little courtesy. Ska-pow indeed.

    Also “so the hubs and I had our dinner together while the kids played under the table and ate Oreos” is my life, too. One day when my kids are older, I’m going to do things like this to them. And I’m waking them the hell up at 7:00 AM on Saturday.

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  5. Right?! Thanks, Robert. I appreciate the shared outrage on this point very much.*

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi, Wendy. Thanks so much! p.s. We HAVE to meet up within the next 90 days. How’s that for a goal? *smile*

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  7. Thank you, Millie.* It ended up being mostly good.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. That’s a good thought, Betty. Thanks for that! Makes a lot of sense.

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  9. Millie, I’ve been trolling your pages all day to try and figure out a way to say ‘Hello & Holy Fuck Congratulations on 100 Days!!!!!!’ (A bit belated.) I’ve tried with phone, iPad, and now computer – all for not. Foiled! That’s what I am. At any rate, I am here and I am cheering for you! You are amazing!

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  10. Oh HM!!! Thank you so so much, I’ve been a bit quiet on the posting front for a week or so, I think I need a breather from the sober stuff but I’m here and do appreciative of you being being there, I know right?! who would have thought we’d be we we are and loving it! and as for your sentiments, right back at ya sweetheart 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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