I’m not angry. I’m not hostile. I’m not even a little bit perturbed. A total one-hundred percent fake-out.
Here’s what I really mean…
Yesterday was Friday, and for the first time in a long while, it really felt like a Friday. *lesigh* I got my hair all done-up fancy at the salon after work, and then helped run the box office with a few friends for a show in Uptown. It was just a good ol’, nice day. Again, *lesigh*
And now, today? The hubs and I get to be with the babes all day (hoo-rah!), and I am thinking with the grey skies, it might be the perfect day to venture out to the movie theatre for a little Halloween fun in Hotel Transylvania 2.
Then, after that, we will head to a free Italian dinner hosted by the new AA group I hit last Sunday. The idea is totally freaking me out inside, but I am trying to remain cool, calm, and collected and just go to the damn thing and see how it goes. Put aside expectations, and just see what it’s about. Eep! In spite of my best efforts to appear unfazed, I am anxious. But? I know it will be a safe space. Yes, all people the hubs and I don’t know. But? Hopefully good food, and if not? At least it’ll be free! Plus, every time this AA group meets, they provide free childcare, so I’m hoping the babes will have a little out-of-the-ordinary fun with some new kids. I’ll keep you posted how it goes.
Lastly, that frustration and anger and general hostility I was feeling for the last several weeks has lifted quite considerably. I am not resenting my sobriety any longer, which is a huge relief. Several times in the past few days, I’ve found myself driving past a liquor store, or noticing people drinking in a movie, or reading about it in a book, and I have actually asked myself, “Is this pissing me off right now?” And each time, my answer has been, “Uh… Nope! It doesn’t. La-di-dah!” … Seriously. Nigh and Day-different from just five days ago. *lesigh*
Day 137, Feeling good. (And lookin’ good!)