Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

19 October.

Good morning.*

I am back in my Cities with my family and my cat. My dad is recovering well, which gave me enough motivation to send me back home. He got out of the hospital yesterday and is settling into his BearCave downstairs. The real concern the last couple of days (and still somewhat is a concern) was his hemoglobin production. He hit a level the doctor was comfortable with, so good news. And now, they are monitoring him to make sure any bleeding (ulcers) doesn’t reoccur, so that is also good news. Considering where he was a week ago, this moment in time is a huge improvement.

Once I got home, I decided I needed to hit a meeting, since I was still feeling like I was white-knuckling sobriety quite a bit. I went to a new meeting (new to me) yesterday, and found myself really enjoying it. I told my hubs and parents that I happened to sit next to a very acerbic gentleman, which for whatever reason, I always just really dig. Acerbity. It’s a funny combination with someone so chipper and perky as myself, but yep. I just really dig acerbic people. Always have. … The meeting itself was a Big Book meeting, but it was run in a way I hadn’t come across before. After each paragraph, people were allowed to chime in about what the passage meant to them. There was a cap of 3 shares per stop, as well as a limit of 2 minutes per share. It made the reading take on more shape and energy because the group was discussing the messages Right Now, as opposed to checking-in around a circle after the reading was complete. (I do think the read-and-respond template of most AA meetings is a little ridiculous considering all of the awesome possible templates we could be stealing from engaging classrooms (Says the teacher.).) I liked the energy fueled around the discussion, and the way people tagged in. I also really appreciated the strict time limits. They were enforced, which was kind of cool to see. I could tell people cared about the meeting and about the work. I felt like I was in good hands. I told the hubs I would like to go back next week. So good stuff.

In other news, it’s my boyo’s first day of preschool today. I stayed home to take him in with the hubs and daughter, and it was just really sweet. He’s been hankering to get to school the past two months, but he’s been too young. He turns 3 tomorrow, so today’s the day! He picked out his R2 shirt and his sister wore her R2 shirt too, so I know that made hubs happy.

Sobriety-wise, I finished Sarah Hepola’s Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget. Check it out here. I was SO moved. Some of you may have seen earlier when I read Ann Dowsett Johnson’s Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol (here), and while I really connected with DJ’s story and research into the phenomena of women and their booze, I found MY story in Hepola’s. Hepola’s timeline is a more similar to my own, and her generational references are mine as well. Her honesty resonated with me, as did her fascination and devotion to drink. I found her avoidance of her alcoholism, as well as her staunch internal denial to recognize that anything was wrong really echoed my internal thoughts these past four years. I highly recommend both books to anyone who wants camaraderie along this sober journey. However, if you are at the tail end of the X-Gens like I am, then I recommend you pick-up Hepola’s book first. Her words truly illuminate many of the dark corners and places alcohol has led so many of us.

Alright, folks. Time to get my ass to work. We’ll see if the rest of me follows, but there it is. *smile*

Day 132, Happy Monday.*

p.s. Just noticed I’m feeling a little lighter today…. Like I’m not just holding onto a cliff with my fingernails in this minute. Maybe a sign that doing the work to stay sober is more than just not drinking? YaYa… Bill Waterson's Calvin & Hobbes

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12 thoughts on “19 October.

  1. Robert Crisp on said:

    Sounds like you found a good, regular meeting. I’m switching home-groups after I chair my first (and I guess only) meeting at the group where I first started. It’s just too big for me, and as much as I’m glad to see young people coming in the door, it’s also nice to be a group with people (and parents) close to my age.

    I finished and loved Caroline Knapp’s book, which resonated with me on many different levels. I read the beginning of Hepola’s book, though I don’t think it’s for me. And not just because I’ve never woken up hung-over beside a cute British guy before…I don’t know. I liked Augusten Burrough’s Dry a good bit. Ah, well. I’m taking a break from sobriety-related reading and checking out some different stuff, and I’m reading a lot of poetry.

    Hope the rest of you followed your ass to work. Things tend to work out better that way : )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cool! Sounds like the meeting was a good start to your day. Good thing you grabbed it first instead of having a bleak day THEN going. Way to be nice to yourself! Especially after being a care taker the last few days.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Millie on said:

    I read both books and they really resonated with me too as ” wow, I thought I was the only one who did/thought/acted like that” and it really made me even more determined to never drink again, ever. I have a treasure trove of sober books that I often refer too and read again if I feel myself losing momentum. Congrats on 132 HM! amazing!! so proud! x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We’ll have to keep each other posted about our new meetings. … I feel like I’m still shopping around, but this one feels like it might be a good fit for now. As for books – I have been thinking about trying Burrough’s book for awhile, now I will have to pick it up. p.s. Did you see it’s being made into a miniseries or TV show? It’s in the works. …And update on the rest of me: All accounted for and reported for duty (and currently reporting for duty).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. How many times on these blogs have I thought, ‘I thought I was the only one!’? (Countless. *smile*) I would love a list of sober books you’ve loved, Millie. I like the idea of revisiting them when you need them, too. Fab. As are you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Millie on said:

    Hiya HM – OK, so here’s a list of the some ones I have in my library , some I liked, some I loved more than others but it’s subjective and if you get a snippet of anything out of a book, it’s worth it anyway, I figure you can look them up, read reviews and get the ones that sing out to you. Here goes:
    Unwasted – Sacha Scobllic
    Memoirs of a fat bastard – Chris Gibson
    In my skin – Kate Holden
    Drunk Mom – Jacinta Bydlowka
    Sober is the new black – Rachel Black
    Drinking, a love story – Caroline Knapp
    Kick the drink easily- Jason Vale
    Mrs D is going without – Lotta Dann
    High Sobriety – Jill Stark
    The recovery book – Catherine Dold & Howard Eisenberg
    I am the voice left from drinking – James Freud (harrowing but recommended a bit hard to find, I got a paper copy on ebay but it’s available on kindle (I think)
    Russell Brand – Revolution – not a sober book per se but he does delve into in here and there’s a lot about living life in a mindful fashion and the philosophy food for thought. I really liked it.

    Happy reading! x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Millie, this is GREAT. Thank you! I can’t wait to get reading….

    Liked by 1 person

  8. p.s. Have you listened to Lotta Dann’s interviews on The Bubble Hour? I was just besotted with her when I heard her candidness. Love her voice and being.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Millie on said:


    Liked by 1 person

  10. Millie on said:

    I have! She’s very open and approachable and doing great stuff in the sober world


  11. Untipsyteacher on said:

    So glad your dad is doing better.
    And happy Day 132!!
    Happy everything!!


  12. Pingback: Seeing Red. | Heya, Monster.

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