From the Hip.
Last night I wanted to get shitfaced.
But I didn’t.
I was angry that I couldn’t.
I was uncomfortable in my body – my cycles are really hitting me so much harder since I’ve stopped drinking. Or rather, maybe it’s because I’m not unconscious while they’re happening any longer? At any rate, the days leading up to them are so frustrating.
I was looking forward to spending time with the hubs all day, and as soon as he came in the door I started a yelling-stupid-loud fight that turned into four or five skirmishes over the next few hours. We could not get back to zero even though we both wanted to.
The day before I had seen a FB picture on a friend’s wall that had a bottle of whiskey and a glass in it, and I was still stewing and mad about that. Not mad at the friend. Mad that I didn’t get to do that anymore.
And my body was matching my mood – constricted and grumpy and feeling out of my control.
All factors of general pissed-off-ness.
Then? Cue rom-com scene. The kids went down pretty quickly and the hubs and I stayed up for several hours talking about everything and nothing. It was a great way to relax, to reset, to connect. And because it was Friday, I wasn’t in a hurry to take my meds and sleep. We just enjoyed our time together. Talked about his and my feelings from the night/day, talked about friends, talked about the beginnings of our relationship with new insights… It was just so refreshing and healing and exactly what I needed.
And really? Had I gotten shitfaced, it would never have happened! Cue: moral to the story.
At some point in the convo, I made a surprising connection. I don’t know how many of you have heard of Multiple Intelligences – it’s a lens created by Howard Gardner used in teaching that reminds educators to reach out to students in more ways than just in the white culture way of lecture, spit back, and repeat. Here’s a list of the intelligences (I added the last one):
- Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”)
- Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
- Spatial intelligence (“picture smart”)
- Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
- Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
- Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
- Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
- Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)
- Spiritual intelligence
For the record, I am a book NERD, and I love me some words, words, words. I always thought I would be tagged as a linguistic learner hands-down. However, and super-surprising (to me)? After taking a test the other week, I am a hugely kinesthetic learner. Like Megatron. Last night when talking to the hubs about what strengths I see both our babes having – musical (our son) and kinesthetic (our daughter) – I realized that my daughter and I express our anger in kinesthetic ways that match our intelligence preferences. An example of my daughter was last night (she was having a crabby moment similar to Mama’s all-day ‘tude) when I almost got kicked in the face during a mild fit. I was hurt and mad that she would be so intentional about trying to hurt me, but then later that night, I realized why she did what she did. She channels everything through her body – and so do I! (Our musical son screams an operatic note that would challenge any diva’s repertoire, for the record.) When I’m angry, like yesterday, I stomp and stamp and channel that shit through my limbs. How amazing! And enlightening! Now I want to watch everyone in the world around me and see where their strengths and preferences lie when their anger flares. It may make fights or arguments more productive, hm? How cool.
Day 88, sometimes even rotten, no-good, smelly, ol’ bad days have good endings.