Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

We discover our heroine 1 week later…

Living a happier life.

In 7 little days (which sometimes seemed enormous, or ‘hugh-mun-duss’ as my boyo would say).

Things accomplished (Sidenote: Although I made a list for my ‘About Me’ page, I am actually not a list-person. And although I am going to proceed here with another list, I just want to be clear, that I am not a list-person. In fact, I find them constricting…. Unless I have a deadline. Then they’re good things. End Sidenote.):

1. Finished Couch-to-5K Weeks 1 & 2. Exercised 7 of 8 days.

2. Was a patient mother. Yes, of course I got mad, but even then, the time was shorter. And I love to hear my own voice when I am kind to my children. (I sound so narcissistic.) So often in a hangover-haze I would be exasperated with them, and then doubly with myself for being exasperated, which would only multiply the exasperation and the duration of said exasperated incident. Gah. So tiring!

3. I still put off housework, but what I have done is not done in a hurried way so that I can hurry up and reward myself with a bottle of beer, or a glass of wine. I am doing it to do it. It feels kind of a cool. A reward in and of itself.

4. Took my babes to the zoo yesterday and had the best time. Again, I wasn’t trying to prove that I was ‘okay’ from the night before, so I could really enjoy it and them. They were wonderful and hilarious, and it felt like the world was working with me because I saw things I’ve never seen before – a gorilla 3 feet away from us picking dandelions for breakfast, a white wolf actually out and about(!), the snow leopard pacing, a polar bear rolling in the grass, and the tiger playing with his ball. Gah. So cool!

5. Admittedly, I am on summer break (I’m a teacher), so my procrastination is set in high gear. And even though I am absolutely the most dedicated, efficient, and highly skilled procrastinator you will ever meet, even then, the work I have left (until the last minute) is done with much less stress and strain. There isn’t an added layer of, again, proving myself. (That keeps showing up, doesn’t it?)

6. I have woken up 8 days in a row without a hangover. And early, too! For those goddamned early jogs …I’m acting. I actually love waking up early. I’m one of those assholes. *smile*

7. I am going to phrase this negatively, but it is a H.U.G.E. positive. I didn’t plan any of the last 7 days around getting home so that I could finally have a drink. Not once. I wanted to, I missed it, I struggled with the idea, but I did not plan it because it was not an option. No furtive liquor store stops, no Trader Joe’s quick-trip accompanied by a coincidental TJ-beer-wine-buying-fest, no resenting my children for wanting to play another ten minutes before I could get inside and pour a glass of wine, no being mad that I had late rehearsal and would only be able to have 1 or 2 glasses instead of the usual 4 or 5, no secret pouring to keep my glass perfectly in the middle but really drinking hand over fist throughout a night, no surly defensive anger at the hubs trying to keep him from realizing how much I actually had had in a night, no slight-of-hand maneuvers keeping a half-bottle on the counter while drinking a beer or from another bottle at the back of the fridge… … … … God. Fuck. FuckFuckFuck. This is a fucked up, messed up, completely-revolving-around-alcohol description of what my life was like only one week ago. One. 1. It dawns on me, Now, how out of control I was. Taken in pieces and from one day to the next, it didn’t feel like a problem. Drinking was just a treat or my reward after living my WonderWoman-lifestyle. Look at me – I’m amazing! (She thinks as she does everything to the nth degree to prove (mostly to herself) she is not an alcoholic.) I deserve it. It’s the most incredible, unbelievable, fucked-up perpetual motion machine anyone has ever witnessed! Tuh-dah! You, too, can experience the wonders of this little device if you just sign your life away.

I deserve Better. Much, much better than any of this #7-shit written above. My job (which I adore) deserves better. My hubs (who I adore) and my babes (who, you guessed it, I also adore) deserve better.

Okay. Anger over. I’ve taken a breath and relaxed my shoulders (which is another positive over this past week, because it seems to actually help to do that now!), and I am glowing by the composite outcome of the list above (even though I don’t like lists). In only 7 days, my life has changed dramatically for the better.

Day 8 might see this heroine leaping tall buildings in a single bound…

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13 thoughts on “We discover our heroine 1 week later…

  1. hey to you too – good to meet you and to find your blog. an enormous well done on your 7 days!

    and as you will find, sobriety IS in fact that long-sought superpower that will enable you to leap buildings in a single bound…. I look forward to watching you do it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks so much, Prim. So glad I realized my kryptonite! Happy to meet & connect with you.*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You deserve ore and you are 8 days into that path!
    Stick with it. It is amazing.

    Like

  4. Hi there! Nice to meet you too. And whoop whoop! What an awesome post. I can totally identify with everything. Especially dealing with the kids – that is definitely way easier without a hangover.

    Congrats on 7 days. Sending many hugs.

    Like

  5. Congrats on your first week! I’m fairly new to the sober world as well. I started a blog too, but I’m horrible with posting. You can check it out : http://www.nonymousalcoholic.wordpress.com. Waking up early sucks! I’m not a morning person and I wake up every day at 6! Keep up the great job. 🚫🍺

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  6. Thank you so much.* And congrats to you – almost 2 years? Gah. That’s awesome. Also, I stopped at your site quickly yesterday and found your reference to the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ episode on TBH. I listened to it this morning on my jog and connected to SO much of it. Thank you so much for mentioning it!

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  7. Thank you, Magz! In only one week, my kids seem happier, too. For such young babes (2 & 4 years old), it feels like they trust me more. A thought that makes me proud and happy, and sad it took me so long to take this step.

    Happy day to you.* p.s. I love your site layout – tres chic!

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  8. Heya! Thank you.* And congrats on your early days as well. How’s it going for you? Saw you had an early am workout a few days ago – how did it go? What kind of exercise? I’m trying to keep things on the cheap and am doing Couch25K. I like the week markers and seeing I’m actually making progress (I am not a runner – but I am now! Ha.). Happy Thursday!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yes. Kids can tell, though we think that they cannot but they have a good sense. I have three, 3, 6 and 11 and it gets pretty crazy sometimes. I don’t even know how it would be if I was still drinking. So good for you. It’s never too late to make changes and this is a huge one! Hugs.
    Ps. Thank you. 😀

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  10. The bubble hour is such a great resource. Those ladies are awesome.

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  11. Right on. All the stuff about not drinking? I’d have made that #1.
    Good that you made the list. Just don’t demand that much from yourself (except the not drinking part), EVERY day. 🙂

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  12. cricketsdrylife on said:

    It’s been a year since you wrote this, but I’m just about to begin not drinking, and I must say…#7 just about slapped me in the face. So me.

    Thank you for still writing! I’ve been looking for sober bloggers with less than 2 years, so I can still connect. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I am so glad you are here and that you reached out, and even more so, that you are about to take or are taking the step to not drinking. Keep connected here – there are so many of us who will cheer you on and listen when shit hits the fan. Seriously. We’ve got you. How are you doing today? p.s. I use the idea of #7 often in order to keep me motivated, and as a reminder of how much my life has improved in such a short time… #7 is no longer a part of my world. Incredible.

    Like

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