Heya, Monster.

A SoberBlog by a TallWoman.

We discover our heroine 1 week later…

Living a happier life.

In 7 little days (which sometimes seemed enormous, or ‘hugh-mun-duss’ as my boyo would say).

Things accomplished (Sidenote: Although I made a list for my ‘About Me’ page, I am actually not a list-person. And although I am going to proceed here with another list, I just want to be clear, that I am not a list-person. In fact, I find them constricting…. Unless I have a deadline. Then they’re good things. End Sidenote.):

1. Finished Couch-to-5K Weeks 1 & 2. Exercised 7 of 8 days.

2. Was a patient mother. Yes, of course I got mad, but even then, the time was shorter. And I love to hear my own voice when I am kind to my children. (I sound so narcissistic.) So often in a hangover-haze I would be exasperated with them, and then doubly with myself for being exasperated, which would only multiply the exasperation and the duration of said exasperated incident. Gah. So tiring!

3. I still put off housework, but what I have done is not done in a hurried way so that I can hurry up and reward myself with a bottle of beer, or a glass of wine. I am doing it to do it. It feels kind of a cool. A reward in and of itself.

4. Took my babes to the zoo yesterday and had the best time. Again, I wasn’t trying to prove that I was ‘okay’ from the night before, so I could really enjoy it and them. They were wonderful and hilarious, and it felt like the world was working with me because I saw things I’ve never seen before – a gorilla 3 feet away from us picking dandelions for breakfast, a white wolf actually out and about(!), the snow leopard pacing, a polar bear rolling in the grass, and the tiger playing with his ball. Gah. So cool!

5. Admittedly, I am on summer break (I’m a teacher), so my procrastination is set in high gear. And even though I am absolutely the most dedicated, efficient, and highly skilled procrastinator you will ever meet, even then, the work I have left (until the last minute) is done with much less stress and strain. There isn’t an added layer of, again, proving myself. (That keeps showing up, doesn’t it?)

6. I have woken up 8 days in a row without a hangover. And early, too! For those goddamned early jogs …I’m acting. I actually love waking up early. I’m one of those assholes. *smile*

7. I am going to phrase this negatively, but it is a H.U.G.E. positive. I didn’t plan any of the last 7 days around getting home so that I could finally have a drink. Not once. I wanted to, I missed it, I struggled with the idea, but I did not plan it because it was not an option. No furtive liquor store stops, no Trader Joe’s quick-trip accompanied by a coincidental TJ-beer-wine-buying-fest, no resenting my children for wanting to play another ten minutes before I could get inside and pour a glass of wine, no being mad that I had late rehearsal and would only be able to have 1 or 2 glasses instead of the usual 4 or 5, no secret pouring to keep my glass perfectly in the middle but really drinking hand over fist throughout a night, no surly defensive anger at the hubs trying to keep him from realizing how much I actually had had in a night, no slight-of-hand maneuvers keeping a half-bottle on the counter while drinking a beer or from another bottle at the back of the fridge… … … … God. Fuck. FuckFuckFuck. This is a fucked up, messed up, completely-revolving-around-alcohol description of what my life was like only one week ago. One. 1. It dawns on me, Now, how out of control I was. Taken in pieces and from one day to the next, it didn’t feel like a problem. Drinking was just a treat or my reward after living my WonderWoman-lifestyle. Look at me – I’m amazing! (She thinks as she does everything to the nth degree to prove (mostly to herself) she is not an alcoholic.) I deserve it. It’s the most incredible, unbelievable, fucked-up perpetual motion machine anyone has ever witnessed! Tuh-dah! You, too, can experience the wonders of this little device if you just sign your life away.

I deserve Better. Much, much better than any of this #7-shit written above. My job (which I adore) deserves better. My hubs (who I adore) and my babes (who, you guessed it, I also adore) deserve better.

Okay. Anger over. I’ve taken a breath and relaxed my shoulders (which is another positive over this past week, because it seems to actually help to do that now!), and I am glowing by the composite outcome of the list above (even though I don’t like lists). In only 7 days, my life has changed dramatically for the better.

Day 8 might see this heroine leaping tall buildings in a single bound…


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13 thoughts on “We discover our heroine 1 week later…

  1. hey to you too – good to meet you and to find your blog. an enormous well done on your 7 days!

    and as you will find, sobriety IS in fact that long-sought superpower that will enable you to leap buildings in a single bound…. I look forward to watching you do it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks so much, Prim. So glad I realized my kryptonite! Happy to meet & connect with you.*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You deserve ore and you are 8 days into that path!
    Stick with it. It is amazing.


  4. Hi there! Nice to meet you too. And whoop whoop! What an awesome post. I can totally identify with everything. Especially dealing with the kids – that is definitely way easier without a hangover.

    Congrats on 7 days. Sending many hugs.


  5. Congrats on your first week! I’m fairly new to the sober world as well. I started a blog too, but I’m horrible with posting. You can check it out : http://www.nonymousalcoholic.wordpress.com. Waking up early sucks! I’m not a morning person and I wake up every day at 6! Keep up the great job. 🚫🍺


  6. Thank you so much.* And congrats to you – almost 2 years? Gah. That’s awesome. Also, I stopped at your site quickly yesterday and found your reference to the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ episode on TBH. I listened to it this morning on my jog and connected to SO much of it. Thank you so much for mentioning it!


  7. Thank you, Magz! In only one week, my kids seem happier, too. For such young babes (2 & 4 years old), it feels like they trust me more. A thought that makes me proud and happy, and sad it took me so long to take this step.

    Happy day to you.* p.s. I love your site layout – tres chic!


  8. Heya! Thank you.* And congrats on your early days as well. How’s it going for you? Saw you had an early am workout a few days ago – how did it go? What kind of exercise? I’m trying to keep things on the cheap and am doing Couch25K. I like the week markers and seeing I’m actually making progress (I am not a runner – but I am now! Ha.). Happy Thursday!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yes. Kids can tell, though we think that they cannot but they have a good sense. I have three, 3, 6 and 11 and it gets pretty crazy sometimes. I don’t even know how it would be if I was still drinking. So good for you. It’s never too late to make changes and this is a huge one! Hugs.
    Ps. Thank you. 😀


  10. The bubble hour is such a great resource. Those ladies are awesome.


  11. Right on. All the stuff about not drinking? I’d have made that #1.
    Good that you made the list. Just don’t demand that much from yourself (except the not drinking part), EVERY day. 🙂


  12. cricketsdrylife on said:

    It’s been a year since you wrote this, but I’m just about to begin not drinking, and I must say…#7 just about slapped me in the face. So me.

    Thank you for still writing! I’ve been looking for sober bloggers with less than 2 years, so I can still connect. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I am so glad you are here and that you reached out, and even more so, that you are about to take or are taking the step to not drinking. Keep connected here – there are so many of us who will cheer you on and listen when shit hits the fan. Seriously. We’ve got you. How are you doing today? p.s. I use the idea of #7 often in order to keep me motivated, and as a reminder of how much my life has improved in such a short time… #7 is no longer a part of my world. Incredible.


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